I sat in the cafeteria, waiting for the meal to begin. Soon the tables began to fill up. They were saving seats, waving excitedly as their friends came through the door. It was a typical cafeteria setting, until the fights broke out. The name-calling was shocking. There was no awareness of politically incorrect speech. Words and phrases, such as “fatty”, “ugly face”, “big and ugly”, “stupid” “I ought to just shut you up”, “she’s an idiot”, etc. flew back and forth across tables. There was a total disregard of a no bullying policy. I have never seen such bad behavior. The mother- heart in my chest ached for those being taunted and for those watching. I felt anger toward those showing such anger and hatred for the people around them. Another part of my mother-heart felt the overwhelming urge to get up and spank some naughty behinds and wash out some dirty mouths. I wondered how many I could spank before the cafeteria aids noticed what was taking place. Then I looked into my mom’s eyes. She just smiled, shook her head and said, “Some people are just naughty. Yes, we were in the cafeteria of the nursing home where mom now resides. Interesting, it really doesn’t matter the age, bad behavior, is bad behavior.
Mom continued eating her meal and I tried to concentrate on visiting and ignoring the commotion swirling around us. I couldn’t help noticing the table right next to ours, where much of the bad behavior was originating. Sitting between two pinched faced, squinty eyed, women who were delighting in using their words to tear down, goad, and shock others, sat a quiet woman. Her face seemed so sweet and a look of peace rested on her countenance. The two women were judging everyone around. Anyone who didn’t meet their standard began to become victims of ridicule. One of the women started telling the sweet woman that she was Catholic. The little lady looked at her and said, “I’m Southern Baptist.” And then went back to enjoying her meal. Occasionally she would look up at some comment and say, “That’s not very kind.” Or “Let’s be kind.” I sat there feeling very proud of her composure and kindness in the face of such rude table companions.
Mom and I finished our meal and walked to her room as our visit came to a close for the evening. As we neared the door, she decided that she wanted to walk on down to the nurses’ station. It seems to be the central gathering place for most of the residents. I hugged her, said, “I love you Momma,” and gave her a kiss on the cheek. As I turned around to leave, I noticed the eyes of the kind lady from the cafeteria looking up into mine from where she sat in her wheel chair. There was such a sweet sadness in her eyes that I knew I had to be obedient to the urging within my spirit to give her a hug, say “Jesus loves you so much,” and give her a kiss on her cheek. She smiled into my eyes, squeezed my arms and said, “I know He does, I know!”
I was enjoying the feeling of willingly obedience as I stood up and smiled into her smiling eyes. It was then that I heard a gravely, gruff voice saying, “Hey! What about me? Don’t I deserve a kiss?” I looked over into the eyes of possibly one of the homeliest human beings I have ever encountered. I’m not sure if it was a man or woman, the clothes didn’t give a clue. The body shape undefined in its size. There was facial hair that was unnatural for a woman and yet an abundance of curves unnatural for a man. That’s when I felt “the urging” again. Interesting how time slows down and a hundred thought can course through your brain in a split second. I thought about acting like I hadn’t heard, I thought about laughing and mumbling something about “not today”, I thought about all of the horrific, unknown germs, I could get if I kissed that face. Then I realized that I was bending down looking for the least offensive spot on that face to kiss as I heard the words, “Absolutely, you deserve a kiss!” coming from my throat, and “Help me Jesus screaming in my heart.” I looked into her/his eyes and said, “Jesus really loves you!” I think that person was as shocked as I was.
I stood and hugged and kissed mom again and then headed for my car, and the bottle of Germex in the glove box. I could barely resist the urge to break into a panicked run. When my lips had been sanitized, and the panic had begun to sub-side, I was overwhelmed by the thought of how much God loves me. He speaks to my heart and teaches me lessons everywhere, every minute, and through every person and circumstance. Here are the things I learned today: #1. Behavior not conquered young will conquer you for a lifetime. What is in your heart will come out. #2. It’s easy to accuse others of judging unjustly, and not realize that even in that we may be judging unjustly. #3. It is easy to love the lovely- not so easy to love the unlovely. #4. Willing obedience may cause panic, but it is always worth choosing to be obedient.” I’m pretty sure that when my lips stop burning from the Germex, I may think of a few more things.
God, thank you for loving me in all my “sinful ugliness.” Thank you for bending down and kissing me with your grace and forgiveness.
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
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